Monday, October 11, 2010

So this is what preparation is for....

So, the other day I was craving a Dr. Pepper.  I mean craving.  It was all I could think about!!  So I actually bought one when I went to get Lilly her weekly allotment of chicken nuggets.  But I am so proud of myself!!  I didn't by a large, I bought....ready for this....a small!!!  I savored every single sip of that Dr. Pepper like it was my last, OK so it was my last.

I have gotten a little off track with everything the past two weeks.  I was sick with pneumonia and I used it as an excuse to not be as strict with everything.  However, that being said, I am not beating myself up over everything. I realize that this is why I have the four months before surgery to prepare for the actual surgery.  If I make a mistake, I learn from it and make myself aware of what situation(s) lead up to the slip up. For example,  I wanted ice cream the other night and instead of getting a piece of fruit and calling it good, I bought the ice cream.  I went to the store hungry so I bought more than I should have.  I sat down with the pint and a spoon and I ate the whole thing.  After I was done, I realized I didn't even enjoy it.   It wasn't even something I really wanted.  I could have been mad at myself and beaten myself up over if for hours, but instead I decided to forgive myself and tell myself that I cannot do that again.  If I want something sweet I either need to get a piece of fruit or decide if I really want something sweet or am I bored?  I have found that sweets are my go to food when I am bored.  If I don't keep them in the house, I can't have them to eat and it makes it a lot easier.  My slip ups are getting fewer and farther between.  Even though I haven't been doing every single thing I need to be doing this week, I must be doing something right because I am down another 3 pounds.  I am eating less and realizing when I am full.  I cannot wait for surgery and I think I will be ready for it in another few weeks.  Each day brings me closer and makes me more ready for this new life changing experience!  I cannot wait!!!

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