Friday, October 22, 2010
No turning back!!
I have finally been given a surgery date!! November 29th at 1pm is the big day!! I am super excited, but I am also really nervous. It is now official! This is going to be a huge change and big challenge, but I am up for it and I know that I can do it!! I am interested to see what it is like to be at a healthy weight. I have never been at a healthy weight that I can remember. I was always the biggest kid! And I am going to lose my boobs, but I am excited about this!! They are too big now!!!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A real portion
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Last night I decided to actually weigh my portion of chicken. The correct portion size is 3 ounces and this my friends is 3 ounces of cut up chicken. We also had rice and the portion was one cup of rice. I was concerned because I am still a big girl and I like my food, but I was surprised because I was full after dinner. I also ate my dinner with one of Lilly's baby spoons. It took me almost an hour to eat and I discover that it is very difficult to chew rice 20 times, but I did my best!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Nerves of steel??
Well, I finally got some good news about my psych eval on Friday. Insurance is going to cover it at 100% after my $40 deductible!! I thought I was going to end up paying $850, which is lot of money to pay to have someone tell you that you are crazy, I mean I get that diagnosis from my friends on a daily basis!!! This was very exciting, so exciting in fact that I jumped up and down and gave myself shin splints!!
All joking aside, I am really nervous about this evaluation! (and no, not because I think I am crazy!) This is the last big hurdle before surgery. I can't even set a follow up appointment until this evaluation is complete! I don't think that I have anything to worry about. I am making major changes and I have come a long way in the past two months, but I think it is more the fear of the unknown! That and pouring out my heart to someone I don't really know. I hate feeling like I am being judged!
Once this is done and I have passed for sane, I can schedule my follow up with the surgeon and potentially get a tentative surgery date!! There is a lot of things riding on Friday's appointment. No pressure right?!?
In other news, I have been following Flylady.com's website about how to avoid CHAOS (go to the website to learn about this) in my home, but I am amazed with how much changing my cleaning and organizational habits have spilled into other aspects of my life. I mean the Flylady tells me that I can do anything for 15 minutes and as simple as it sounds, she is right!! Yesterday I spent 15 minutes (actually more because we were having fun) going through Lilly's toys and getting them into her new toy chest. I finished with a large black trash bag full of donations and two empty bookcases in my living room, Lilly's room was clean, and I know that what little is left in the front room will be very easy to clean up at the end of the day! But what is even better about all of this was I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment! I was amazed at myself for the fact that I stopped procrastinating and just did it. We actually had fun doing it too!
All joking aside, I am really nervous about this evaluation! (and no, not because I think I am crazy!) This is the last big hurdle before surgery. I can't even set a follow up appointment until this evaluation is complete! I don't think that I have anything to worry about. I am making major changes and I have come a long way in the past two months, but I think it is more the fear of the unknown! That and pouring out my heart to someone I don't really know. I hate feeling like I am being judged!
Once this is done and I have passed for sane, I can schedule my follow up with the surgeon and potentially get a tentative surgery date!! There is a lot of things riding on Friday's appointment. No pressure right?!?
In other news, I have been following Flylady.com's website about how to avoid CHAOS (go to the website to learn about this) in my home, but I am amazed with how much changing my cleaning and organizational habits have spilled into other aspects of my life. I mean the Flylady tells me that I can do anything for 15 minutes and as simple as it sounds, she is right!! Yesterday I spent 15 minutes (actually more because we were having fun) going through Lilly's toys and getting them into her new toy chest. I finished with a large black trash bag full of donations and two empty bookcases in my living room, Lilly's room was clean, and I know that what little is left in the front room will be very easy to clean up at the end of the day! But what is even better about all of this was I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment! I was amazed at myself for the fact that I stopped procrastinating and just did it. We actually had fun doing it too!
Monday, October 11, 2010
So this is what preparation is for....
So, the other day I was craving a Dr. Pepper. I mean craving. It was all I could think about!! So I actually bought one when I went to get Lilly her weekly allotment of chicken nuggets. But I am so proud of myself!! I didn't by a large, I bought....ready for this....a small!!! I savored every single sip of that Dr. Pepper like it was my last, OK so it was my last.
I have gotten a little off track with everything the past two weeks. I was sick with pneumonia and I used it as an excuse to not be as strict with everything. However, that being said, I am not beating myself up over everything. I realize that this is why I have the four months before surgery to prepare for the actual surgery. If I make a mistake, I learn from it and make myself aware of what situation(s) lead up to the slip up. For example, I wanted ice cream the other night and instead of getting a piece of fruit and calling it good, I bought the ice cream. I went to the store hungry so I bought more than I should have. I sat down with the pint and a spoon and I ate the whole thing. After I was done, I realized I didn't even enjoy it. It wasn't even something I really wanted. I could have been mad at myself and beaten myself up over if for hours, but instead I decided to forgive myself and tell myself that I cannot do that again. If I want something sweet I either need to get a piece of fruit or decide if I really want something sweet or am I bored? I have found that sweets are my go to food when I am bored. If I don't keep them in the house, I can't have them to eat and it makes it a lot easier. My slip ups are getting fewer and farther between. Even though I haven't been doing every single thing I need to be doing this week, I must be doing something right because I am down another 3 pounds. I am eating less and realizing when I am full. I cannot wait for surgery and I think I will be ready for it in another few weeks. Each day brings me closer and makes me more ready for this new life changing experience! I cannot wait!!!
I have gotten a little off track with everything the past two weeks. I was sick with pneumonia and I used it as an excuse to not be as strict with everything. However, that being said, I am not beating myself up over everything. I realize that this is why I have the four months before surgery to prepare for the actual surgery. If I make a mistake, I learn from it and make myself aware of what situation(s) lead up to the slip up. For example, I wanted ice cream the other night and instead of getting a piece of fruit and calling it good, I bought the ice cream. I went to the store hungry so I bought more than I should have. I sat down with the pint and a spoon and I ate the whole thing. After I was done, I realized I didn't even enjoy it. It wasn't even something I really wanted. I could have been mad at myself and beaten myself up over if for hours, but instead I decided to forgive myself and tell myself that I cannot do that again. If I want something sweet I either need to get a piece of fruit or decide if I really want something sweet or am I bored? I have found that sweets are my go to food when I am bored. If I don't keep them in the house, I can't have them to eat and it makes it a lot easier. My slip ups are getting fewer and farther between. Even though I haven't been doing every single thing I need to be doing this week, I must be doing something right because I am down another 3 pounds. I am eating less and realizing when I am full. I cannot wait for surgery and I think I will be ready for it in another few weeks. Each day brings me closer and makes me more ready for this new life changing experience! I cannot wait!!!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
So exciting!!
So, it has been a few weeks since I blogged, but here are the latest updates....
I went in for my second appointment with the Bariatric doctor. I am deficient in Vitamin D, but it is fat soluble, so there is a possibility that there is a bunch stored in my fat. However, they treat for it since there is no test to see how much is in your fat. I have also lost an official total of 9 pounds!! I can see it in my pants that are starting to get a little bit big!!
I have my psych eval. scheduled for next Friday, this is one of the last major hurdles before surgery can be done. I was a little concerned that insurance won't cover it, but it looks like there is a slim, remote, far off in the distance chance that the doctor may actually be covered by my insurance. I have to thank Dr. Clark for going to bat for me on that. Once I pass that I can officially schedule my follow-up appointment with the surgeon!!
Closer to home, I was able to get on to the Wii Fit today and exercise for a good 30 minutes!! This is major since before I was too heavy for the balance board. I am so excited and I am sitting here post workout, sweat dripping down my face and typing about it because I am that excited!!
As for dietary changes, I am completely off of soda!! This is really hard because I occasionally (every day) crave a Dr. Pepper, but it took me so long to get off soda that I am not willing to risk even one sip!! I have cut back carbs, but that seems to be my major struggle right now. I do have to admit that as much as I wanted to stop for a large milkshake yesterday, I did not so I am extremely proud of that fact!! Portion control is getting better as well. I can tell when I have gotten too full, but I am getting much better about stopping before I feel full since it takes your brain like 30 minutes to catch up!!
Well fatigue is starting to take over, so I am headed to bed. Flylady.com says that to avoid CHAOS (Can't have anyone over syndrome) you need to get to bed at a decent hour. This change in my diet has been leading to a change in life all around!! It is exciting changes I tell ya!! Oh and the best part....people at Peter's work are starting to notice that I have lost weight and it is a great feeling to have people come up to you and tell you that!!
I went in for my second appointment with the Bariatric doctor. I am deficient in Vitamin D, but it is fat soluble, so there is a possibility that there is a bunch stored in my fat. However, they treat for it since there is no test to see how much is in your fat. I have also lost an official total of 9 pounds!! I can see it in my pants that are starting to get a little bit big!!
I have my psych eval. scheduled for next Friday, this is one of the last major hurdles before surgery can be done. I was a little concerned that insurance won't cover it, but it looks like there is a slim, remote, far off in the distance chance that the doctor may actually be covered by my insurance. I have to thank Dr. Clark for going to bat for me on that. Once I pass that I can officially schedule my follow-up appointment with the surgeon!!
Closer to home, I was able to get on to the Wii Fit today and exercise for a good 30 minutes!! This is major since before I was too heavy for the balance board. I am so excited and I am sitting here post workout, sweat dripping down my face and typing about it because I am that excited!!
As for dietary changes, I am completely off of soda!! This is really hard because I occasionally (every day) crave a Dr. Pepper, but it took me so long to get off soda that I am not willing to risk even one sip!! I have cut back carbs, but that seems to be my major struggle right now. I do have to admit that as much as I wanted to stop for a large milkshake yesterday, I did not so I am extremely proud of that fact!! Portion control is getting better as well. I can tell when I have gotten too full, but I am getting much better about stopping before I feel full since it takes your brain like 30 minutes to catch up!!
Well fatigue is starting to take over, so I am headed to bed. Flylady.com says that to avoid CHAOS (Can't have anyone over syndrome) you need to get to bed at a decent hour. This change in my diet has been leading to a change in life all around!! It is exciting changes I tell ya!! Oh and the best part....people at Peter's work are starting to notice that I have lost weight and it is a great feeling to have people come up to you and tell you that!!
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